Tantra - Relationships - Intimacy

Tantra - Relationship

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What is Tantra?

Sexuality, love and spiritual growth

verliefd stelFreuds Psychoanalytic theory put sexuality in the center and perceived neurosis as the result of a conflict between the instinctive needs of the individual and the demands of society. His student Wilhelm Reich worked actually with the body and tried in that way to soften the muscular armours which he saw as armours of the personality. He said: 

"Perhaps my own morality does not allow it, but experience and observation of myself and others have brought me to the conclusion that sexuality is in the center and that the whole of social life as well as each individual’s life is centered around it".

Reichs student  Alexander Lowen elaborated on the structures of character of Reich and invented many effective exercises to free the energy of the body. He called his method Bioenergetics. Osho addded the meditative approach. He said:

"The most captivating of life is inside you. You can turn inwards right now, look inside yourself. I call is meditation, a silent pilgrimage to your own being. And as soon you will find your own center, you will find the center of the whole existence."

People who were inspired by Osho 's meditative approach, like Margo Anand, have contributed to the rediscovery of the very ancient Tantra rituals.An important addition in the Tantra approach is the joining of sexuality and love.With that become the principle of lust (instinctive energies) and the principle of reality (love for a real other person) one. Otherwise there is the risk that sex becomes a chilly experience.

"Only the merging of the best from the heart and sexuality can lead to extacy"  Anais Nin

Fear and Desire

The theme of the course always provokes more emotions then any other courses. Sexuality is, unfortunately, for many people a more difficult subject. A course about it provokes in the mind all kinds of fears and shame. On the other hand it provokes desire and hope for ameliorating your intimate and relational functioning. Or just the hope to enjoy your sexual energy in a relaxed way. In the course we will make a theme of learning to feel in a deeper way. And also of feeling your boundarys. In that way you can feel free to explore a subject that comes so close to you.


The tantric notion postulates that if you can learn to relax in a condition of large sexual excitement ( and not allowing an orgasm) and you dare to allow alll the feelings you experience, you wiil reach a state of surrender and total extacy.

Margo Anand writes:
tantra hart tot hart"If the female and the male pole merge, there arises a new dimension, a sacral. If you feel the sacral of the sexual connection, then it is possible to experience your connection with the force of life itself, with the source of creation. In this connection consciousness arises above the fysical level, to a level of energy that is far beyond yours. In that case you will feel connected, through your partner, to everything that lives and loves. You will feel a unity with all of existence." 

Our principle is that in sexuality there is no coercion. Ideally, sex is a nice meeting between people who dare to let their sexual energy flow

An important aspect of sexuality is communication. If the communication between partners is failing in other aspects of life, then the sex is often tiring too. An other aspect is the messages we got from our parents, consciously or unconsciously. Many times these messages were not very helpfull. In the course we will pay attention to these messages. And try to substitute them for more helpfull ones.And we will do some exercises to ameliorate the communicaation between partners.

In the Tantra vision love starts with loving yourself. Trying to love someone while you don't love yourself is difficult.It will almost always lead to possessive, jealous and dependent behaviour. Someone who loves him/herself is like a magnet and attrackts the love of others.

“ The only thing to do, is being there "


It is smart to read somewhat about Tantra and sexuality in advance. In our view the best book is:  Margo Anand, “The Art of Sexual Ecstasy: The Path of Sacred Sexuality for Western Lovers"

Worth reading: J. van Lankveld, “Zelf je sexuele relatie verbeteren”, ISBN 9063254253.

We will not do all exercises from these books!